Bad relationship communication is one of the most difficult challenges for every couple. With bad communication, establishing trust and respect becomes difficult. Achieving mutual understanding is also impossible because you are just talking in circles, trying to win over one another, rather than fixing the actual problem. To fix this problem, you should try these five steps:
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Honesty
The first thing you need to do for a better relationship communication is to strive for honesty. Both you and your partner should be honest about your feelings and thoughts about your relationship as a couple. One should resist telling lies just to avoid conflict. One should also resist being dishonest about their feelings just to avoid a heated argument. A seemingly argument-free communication that is based on lies is not a good communication to start with. Be honest because a conflict based on honesty is healthy for any couple.
Empathy
Once honesty has been established, the next thing that you need to do to fix a bad relationship communication is to empathize with your partner. Being empathetic means you understand your partner, their feelings, and emotions, from their own point of reference and personality. Part of empathy is accepting that you and your partner are two different people. Practicing empathy will prevent you from being aggressive and offensive when trying to communicate with one another.
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Listening
The next step after feeling empathetic to your partner is to listen. Yes, relationship communication is not all about expressing one’s own mind and feelings. Effective communication also involves active listening, which means that you listen to them with all your senses. Avoid cutting off while the other talks. You give them your undivided attention and concentrate on the message that they are trying to imply and vice versa.
One Team
After actively listening to your partner, you’d be surprised that finding a solution to your problem at hand becomes easier. Reassure your partner that you are on the same team. Find solutions together, taking into consideration the needs, feelings, and thoughts of one another. There is no one solution that will satisfy all the requirements of the two of you. This is where your compromise not for the other, but for the both of you. Remember, you are one.
“I love you and I thank you.”
Lastly, you avoid further arguments by reassuring your love for one another and practicing gratitude. Always say “I love you.” and “thank you.” to one another. These words motivate each other because they show not only love but also an appreciation of each other’s efforts and contributions towards the benefit of your relationship.
No one wins in your arguments–you both lose especially if they are taking a toll on your relationship. Follow these five steps to engage in healthy conflicts with your partner.