So you going to be a dad huh? Daunting task when you think about it. Begin a new dad is not something you will ever get used to. It is a complete upheaval of you life but one that I hope you are excited about. If you are hesitant about becoming one take a look at our Preparing for First-Time Fatherhood post. Only once you realize that the joy of fatherhood outweighs the fears, can you really care for your child. However we are not perfect and we all make parenting mistakes. These are the Top 5 mistakes New Dads Make.
Losing your temper
Our child’s behavior may seem crazy at times but we must never discipline when angry. Yelling, swearing and blowing a gasket teaches children that violence and anger are acceptable in their relationships with family and friends. If you feel like you going over the top, follow our Tips For Calming Down, and regroup. Sometimes you need a “time out” yourself. Children respond best when we are calm and your approach is direct.
Related Content: How to Identify and Understand Your Child’s Temperament
Physical Punishment
Gone are the days of physically striking your child. Physical punishment causes children to learn that it is ok lash out at others when upset or angry. the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, in a 2012 statement, concluded that: “Although corporal punishment may have a high rate of immediate behavior modification, it is ineffective over time, and is associated with increased aggression and decreased moral internalization of appropriate behavior.” Your most important job as a father is to be a teacher. Not and enforcer.
Not being consistent
For children, bad actions must have the same consequence every time. If your child swears in front of you and you laugh it off but then another time you punish them, your child will never know what is expected of them. Inconsistent punishment is a recipe for a child how will never learn proper right from wrong.
Related Content: Toddler Temper Tantrums Tips: Surviving the Dreaded Meltdown
Giving into demands
You can’t give them what they want whenever they want it. If it’s time for a nap, then no you’re not having another snack. Allowing a child to make unreasonable demands that are then fulfilled by you will make them think they can get whatever they want just by demanding it loud enough and that will carry over into their adult life. Sometimes the best word in your vocabulary is NO.
Excessive Guilt
“I slave my life away for you, and you can’t even clear your dishes off the table” If you make a child feel responsibility for things that go wrong in your life, you are acting as a codependent. Enact your consequences and stop with the guilt trips.
No one is a perfect parent. Many times we will be criticized on how we are raising our kids. But following these basic guidelines will help you navigate the swamp that is fatherhood. What do you guys think? What kind of mistakes have you made?